IMF between the lines

The IMF released a very typical statement on the conclusion of their visit to Fiji. At first glance, it was the usual bland, official and professional stuff, devoid of any finger pointing. But if you look closer, there is some quite alarming language there, that let’s us read between the lines at what might actually have happened.

Statement of an IMF Mission at the Conclusion of the Visit to Fiji

Press Release No. 10/165

April 22, 2010

The following statement was issued in Suva on April 22, 2010 after the conclusion of an International Monetary Fund (IMF) staff visit to Fiji:

“An IMF team led by Mr. Jonathan Dunn visited Suva during April 7–21, 2010 at the invitation of the government (OmniVore to IMF “Hey! Gang! Kerekere, you can give me some paisa?”) to discuss Fiji’s economic reform efforts over the medium term (IMF to OmniVore “What the fcuk have you been doing to this place?”) and possible IMF financial support under a Stand-By Arrangement (IMF to OV “You are not getting your crazy-boy hands within cooee of IMF money if you don’t stop this dumbass stuff you been pulling.”) The team met with Prime Minister and Minister of Finance Josaia Voreqe Bainimarama, Minister of Public Enterprises Aiyaz Sayed-Khaiyum, Reserve Bank of Fiji (RBF) Governor Sada Reddy, Permanent Secretary for Finance John Prasad and other senior government officials. (IMF to self “These nitwits think they can run this place? Oh puhleeze.”) The mission also met with donors, the private sector and public enterprise representatives. (IMF to donors, private sector & public enterprise reps: “Can you believe those bozos?”) The mission collaborated with international financial institutions and they could play an important role in supporting reforms, including in helping to finance the program. (IMF to donors etc continued “OK, we’ll do what we can but it’d be a lot easier if you just got rid of those dumbass bozos in the first place.”)

“The authorities and the mission agreed that the policies should be set so as to put Fiji on the path to sustainable and broad-based growth. We will continue to discuss policy measures required to ensure fiscal sustainability and specific structural reforms to underpin Fiji’s medium-term growth while protecting the vulnerable. We welcome the authorities’ intention to approach donors for support for key structural reforms of public enterprises and the civil service. (IMF to the world: “So the bozos are standing there with a begging bowl out, asking for money for nothing, but doing nothing to sustain their country, which was in great shape the last time we look at them under democratic rule.”)

“The mission greatly appreciated the authorities’ openness and the frank discussions of the economic challenges faced by Fiji. (IMF: “He looked me in the eye and admitted that he doesn’t know what the **** he is doing and he has no clue how to run the country.”) The IMF looks forward to the possibility of making further progress toward these ends in the coming months that would ensure external stability and help catalyze donor support for Fiji’s reform efforts.” (IMF: “Anything has to be better than what they were doing before, and what they were planning to do up until we told them to stop it. What a bunch of freaking losers, especially their AG. If left to their own devices, they’d have sold the country to China by now.”)

God bless Fiji

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2 thoughts on “IMF between the lines

  1. Bula FijiGirl – good one ! And so SPOT ON !

    It is truly amazing that the green bozo’s think they can bamboozle the IMF …..

    What are they eating in Aiyars’s office ? Bhaji Khandji ?

  2. Can’t get my head around this?

    Why on earth would the IMF seriously consider loaning one billion dollars to an unqualified sailor – ignore a qualified merchant banker?

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