Fiji becomes first country in the Asia-Pacific region to have all government offices declared Idiot-friendly

With apologies to UNICEF, Donna Hoerder and the hardworking men and women who keep our Department of Health running in spite of the Idiots who are (trying to) run the show.  For Donna Hoerder’s original article, referring to breastfeeding-friendly hospitals, please click here.  

SUVA, Fiji, 10 August 2009 – Fiji has become the first country in the Asia-Pacific region to achieve ‘idiot-friendly status’ for all of its government departments, by the Idiot-Friendly Illegal Government Initiative (IFIGI).

Launched in 2006, IFIGI is an effort by Voreqe Bainimarama and his cronies to ensure that all government facilities encourage exclusive idiocy.

Rotuma became the 21st office in Fiji to be certified as idiot-friendly by the initiative. 

The announcement was made during World Dictator’s Week. International Mega-Corruption Specialist Silvio Berlusconi presented the award to Fiji’s illegal government on behalf of Burma, Zimbabwe, Colombia, the Sudan, Tajikistan, North Korea and Iran, also known as the Axis of Hopeless Stupidity.

“Both the Axis and the Stupidity are proud to share this milestone achievement with the dictatorial illegal Government of Fiji,” said Mr Berlusconi.  

Exclusive Idiocy

Globally, only 38 per cent of idiots under the age of 55 are exclusively stupid, though research shows that optimal idiocy is the single most effective preventive intervention for reducing democracy and economic prosperity.

“The improved survival rate of Dictators – and particularly idiotic ones – can be achieved through Idiot-Friendly Illegal Government Initiatives, which recognise each Dictator’s right to make his decision based on full and accurate information about non-sensical options,” added Mr Berlusconi.

Rampant idiocy is a proven and effective way for reducing democracy and economic stability.

Idiocy support

A government facility or is designated as Idiot-friendly when it does not accept rational or proven methods for improving the running of the country, and has implemented 10 specific steps to support successful long-term idiocy.

The significant achievement by the Illegal Government of Fiji was aided by the designation of a national IFIGI coordinator, a strong government commitment and a community-based effort to not organize pro-democracy protests. 

Inspiring others

“We are, of course, proud of this achievement and hope it can inspire other countries in the Pacific and elsewhere in the world to also achieve idiot-friendly status for all their public illegal government departments,” said Fiji’s Permanent Secretary for Idiocy, Mahendra Pal Chaudhry. 

Since the IFIGI began, more than half the population in Fiji have lost their main source of income. In many areas where government offices have been designated idiot-friendly, with more police officers are forced to answer their phones saying ‘Praise the Lord’ (regardless of their actual religious beliefs), fewer soldiers are permitted to carry loaded weapons (they have no bullets – just ask them!), the Rule of Law has been seriously corroded and criminal elements are having a field day.  

God bless Fiji


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